I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So vagazzling was a success
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
