Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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