called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
