he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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