how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
