oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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