9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
