You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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