I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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