I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
