Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
