ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
