Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
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