If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
