we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
