the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize