Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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