i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
