I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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