you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
