wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
