He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
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