nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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