She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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