i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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