i permit you to call me
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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