He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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