I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Do you still have your period?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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