She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
