I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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