can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize