PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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