Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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