Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
