How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
