I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
