I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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