Are we in a gay sports bar?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
