Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
