I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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