ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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