A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Randomize
