Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
