Sponge bath it is.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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