lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
