Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
