i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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