it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
