why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
