Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I am available for nakedness
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize