I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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