Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
