The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
