A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
