did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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