sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I forget how to act sober
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
