Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I'm having to shit out rocks
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
