I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
