I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize