So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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