Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
