just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
