Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
