Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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