I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i used baking grease as lip gloss
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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