Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize