Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
