i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
