The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
