I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
