Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
