He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
